Twilight
Twilight…she thought, what a beautiful word?? Kind of, painted a picture in her head of an old man, carrying a bag with all his lives earnings in it… ‘proof of a full life’; self- explanatory - that’s what twilight was…yes!! a self explanatory. She found comfort in the word as she did now, sitting beside him, in the twilight!! She smiled to her self… ‘he would never notice’ she figured…but as she looked up, there, were his eyes on her…like the old mans, like he could read her mind...like he knew that she had jus found humor in the word twilight!! How wrong she was.
He smiled …
How he loved to catch her unaware…like this, smiling at her self, at her flow of thoughts. He had once after a similar day with her, found him self awake in bed, all night, trying to figure out how she thought, why she thought…most importantly why she thought… He remembered, that was the day he knew, he would always love her!! He also knew that he had just signed up for a lifetime of pain!!
Today he had been staring at the setting sun, after a heavy and very late lunch …(her idea!!) looking for her favorite color…a purple, she had said, that came along between the orange and pink after the sunset!! He could not for the life of him, find it in the 5 years since she had told him about it!!
He had thought when he thought about her on vacations… away from her…how perfect her name was… ‘Antarikshaa’-space, infinite, all consuming, and yet so cold and indifferent… “Perfect” he thought.
She realized she had been caught, thinking about him, in his company…she cocked up her brows and questioned his look…she and realized he had not been him self today but it was such a beautiful day she didn’t want to mess it up with the conversation she knew was inevitable today… he always had a tendency to be so intense about these minute things in life …about family, community, marriage…it all meant so much to him!! ‘Intensity’- that’s how she classified him, in her head …thats how she had classified him in her head!! Like everything and everyone that came along… this had to be made a neat lil packet and labeled!! Everything had a purpose, his was to be ‘intense’ and to be mesmerized by her, hers was to harbor this knowledge like the other balck and white truths that came along in life day after day after day!!
(And he knew… Words …like Art , where her purpose above all!!)
he was the other was round…a neutral being; She remembered the gray sun-glasses…how well they ‘suited’ him she thought… she had stolen them…called them Sumit-colored-glasses!! When he asked for them back …she cracked the lenses kept a piece for her charm bracelet…and gave them back!!
He always carried the broken glasses!! She always wore the bracelet!!
Now he spoke…soft, clear, crystal…
“did you hear?”
“about?”
“my promotion!!”
“yeah, Radha mentioned…Washington DC , huh??”
“hmm”
He walked away, he had known that she would be indifferent, unperturbed…but this was too much!! He was flooded with rage…
he could feel his pulse race, his stomach plunged into an icy cold…was this fear or was he just so angry that he was consciously taking wrong decisions…he could see that he was…and yet he could see no other way…
now he would have to pay for all this emotion…but this was too much this was Death its self….
and then he saw it … her purple!!
CALM!! It swept over him …he was free…he was with her again!!
He looked back at her she was looking at it too!!
“So?” he asked.
“So?”
“what do we do?”
“lets see, I am stuffed, no dinner for me…lets get a movie”
“doofuss, about my promotion?!?”
“oh well, its nice ...I guess you wanted to go abroad…didn’t you?? And man as special correspondent…white passport and all, if it wasn’t the US id be J”
“well yeah but I don’t want to go with out you!!”
“what utter nonsense?”
Any other being would have been upset but he herd the jest in her voice…the fake English accent; She was so bad with them and yet ...she wouldn’t let go.
He looked at her straight into her eyes… “Remember the first time I kissed you?”
“hmmm…”she mused…
She remembered, it was back in college!! She was working on the art, which with him being the editor had been fun for the first time ever…he understood her themes her ideas, her inspiration hit him too hard for him to ignore it. It was late at night…and the team was at it nerves end…waiting eagerly for the printer to deliver!!
The paper arrived and as was the custom, the HOD was the first to read it!! who, adjusted his glasses, and began to read!!
He looked over at her sitting in the corner of the room her legs folded close to her chest, her hair its usual mess, and her pants frayed…but her face…he missed a heart beat…her nose had been red, all week from a terrible cold … ‘my poor Rudolf’ he’d say every time she sneezed!!
And then as he was staring at her…the room grew silent…he herd…the one word no one expected from the worst HOD in the history of ‘Journalism and Media Studies’ -“brilliant”.
It was ‘their’ victory…it had been anticipated …they were the best and undoubtedly rooted to beauty …only they understood…yet everyone saw…
He was connected to her in that moment…he could understand how she could be so calm, so undisturbed…he pushed his way through the mad crowd of a score of 23 year old, half hugging them and mumbling welcomes, to all those who were thanking him …
He walked up to her, held up her chin and kissed the corner of her mouth, his mouth half open gentle, tender, hungry!!
She responded… he felt for the first time her warmth …something he never knew she had …
“perfect” she said
“was it?”
“oh yes , everything, I had wanted from a first kiss”
“would it be safe then to imply that you love me? At least half as much as I do?”
How she adored this bluntness of his!! His directness, was always the best part of him …the time when he stepped out of the gray and turned white or black…delectable, was her label for it!!
“Does it matter? After so many years?” she said
“Well yes very much!! I’ll leave, in a week and may never return, I need to know that the one woman who will rule my mind and soul for ever at least cares about me, even thought she refuses to marry me!!”
“Well what if I said NO?”
“I’d know your lying!!”
“How??”
“Cause I am the only ‘living person’ whose memorabilia you have on the piece of junk you call a bracelet”
she closed her eyes…
“Are you sure…”
She turned around…the house was bare had been so for 4 months, it had been her surprise, for him, her way of saying all that her being had kept her from saying…
She touched her stomach…last night was the first time she had felt the fetus move, inside her, she smiled…he would have said baby…would have named it by now!!
…The Conversation’ had played in her head for so long now, she couldn’t remember if they had ever managed to share it!! But she was sure he had finally seen …her purple…at twilight!!
He smiled …
How he loved to catch her unaware…like this, smiling at her self, at her flow of thoughts. He had once after a similar day with her, found him self awake in bed, all night, trying to figure out how she thought, why she thought…most importantly why she thought… He remembered, that was the day he knew, he would always love her!! He also knew that he had just signed up for a lifetime of pain!!
Today he had been staring at the setting sun, after a heavy and very late lunch …(her idea!!) looking for her favorite color…a purple, she had said, that came along between the orange and pink after the sunset!! He could not for the life of him, find it in the 5 years since she had told him about it!!
He had thought when he thought about her on vacations… away from her…how perfect her name was… ‘Antarikshaa’-space, infinite, all consuming, and yet so cold and indifferent… “Perfect” he thought.
She realized she had been caught, thinking about him, in his company…she cocked up her brows and questioned his look…she and realized he had not been him self today but it was such a beautiful day she didn’t want to mess it up with the conversation she knew was inevitable today… he always had a tendency to be so intense about these minute things in life …about family, community, marriage…it all meant so much to him!! ‘Intensity’- that’s how she classified him, in her head …thats how she had classified him in her head!! Like everything and everyone that came along… this had to be made a neat lil packet and labeled!! Everything had a purpose, his was to be ‘intense’ and to be mesmerized by her, hers was to harbor this knowledge like the other balck and white truths that came along in life day after day after day!!
(And he knew… Words …like Art , where her purpose above all!!)
he was the other was round…a neutral being; She remembered the gray sun-glasses…how well they ‘suited’ him she thought… she had stolen them…called them Sumit-colored-glasses!! When he asked for them back …she cracked the lenses kept a piece for her charm bracelet…and gave them back!!
He always carried the broken glasses!! She always wore the bracelet!!
Now he spoke…soft, clear, crystal…
“did you hear?”
“about?”
“my promotion!!”
“yeah, Radha mentioned…Washington DC , huh??”
“hmm”
He walked away, he had known that she would be indifferent, unperturbed…but this was too much!! He was flooded with rage…
he could feel his pulse race, his stomach plunged into an icy cold…was this fear or was he just so angry that he was consciously taking wrong decisions…he could see that he was…and yet he could see no other way…
now he would have to pay for all this emotion…but this was too much this was Death its self….
and then he saw it … her purple!!
CALM!! It swept over him …he was free…he was with her again!!
He looked back at her she was looking at it too!!
“So?” he asked.
“So?”
“what do we do?”
“lets see, I am stuffed, no dinner for me…lets get a movie”
“doofuss, about my promotion?!?”
“oh well, its nice ...I guess you wanted to go abroad…didn’t you?? And man as special correspondent…white passport and all, if it wasn’t the US id be J”
“well yeah but I don’t want to go with out you!!”
“what utter nonsense?”
Any other being would have been upset but he herd the jest in her voice…the fake English accent; She was so bad with them and yet ...she wouldn’t let go.
He looked at her straight into her eyes… “Remember the first time I kissed you?”
“hmmm…”she mused…
She remembered, it was back in college!! She was working on the art, which with him being the editor had been fun for the first time ever…he understood her themes her ideas, her inspiration hit him too hard for him to ignore it. It was late at night…and the team was at it nerves end…waiting eagerly for the printer to deliver!!
The paper arrived and as was the custom, the HOD was the first to read it!! who, adjusted his glasses, and began to read!!
He looked over at her sitting in the corner of the room her legs folded close to her chest, her hair its usual mess, and her pants frayed…but her face…he missed a heart beat…her nose had been red, all week from a terrible cold … ‘my poor Rudolf’ he’d say every time she sneezed!!
And then as he was staring at her…the room grew silent…he herd…the one word no one expected from the worst HOD in the history of ‘Journalism and Media Studies’ -“brilliant”.
It was ‘their’ victory…it had been anticipated …they were the best and undoubtedly rooted to beauty …only they understood…yet everyone saw…
He was connected to her in that moment…he could understand how she could be so calm, so undisturbed…he pushed his way through the mad crowd of a score of 23 year old, half hugging them and mumbling welcomes, to all those who were thanking him …
He walked up to her, held up her chin and kissed the corner of her mouth, his mouth half open gentle, tender, hungry!!
She responded… he felt for the first time her warmth …something he never knew she had …
“perfect” she said
“was it?”
“oh yes , everything, I had wanted from a first kiss”
“would it be safe then to imply that you love me? At least half as much as I do?”
How she adored this bluntness of his!! His directness, was always the best part of him …the time when he stepped out of the gray and turned white or black…delectable, was her label for it!!
“Does it matter? After so many years?” she said
“Well yes very much!! I’ll leave, in a week and may never return, I need to know that the one woman who will rule my mind and soul for ever at least cares about me, even thought she refuses to marry me!!”
“Well what if I said NO?”
“I’d know your lying!!”
“How??”
“Cause I am the only ‘living person’ whose memorabilia you have on the piece of junk you call a bracelet”
she closed her eyes…
“Are you sure…”
She turned around…the house was bare had been so for 4 months, it had been her surprise, for him, her way of saying all that her being had kept her from saying…
She touched her stomach…last night was the first time she had felt the fetus move, inside her, she smiled…he would have said baby…would have named it by now!!
…The Conversation’ had played in her head for so long now, she couldn’t remember if they had ever managed to share it!! But she was sure he had finally seen …her purple…at twilight!!
posted by succubus at 8:27 PM
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